I had several requests for the text of the eulogy I gave at Winnie's funeral this week. I am sharing it here so we can all see it anytime.
On behalf of the Spell family I would like to thank each of you for coming today to celebrate the life of my Aunt Winnie. Each of us knew Winnie in a different way, a wife, a sister, mom, and friend. We all have great memories of Winnie and I am honored to be able to share some of mine, growing up the niece of such a fine lady. When I was thinking of my place in the family tree, I thought at first I was the oldest niece, and it gave me a bit of a panic, but then I remembered Annette and I felt a little bit better. I was blessed to grow up one of 24 first cousins on the Buxton side, and I think I can speak for all of us in saying Winnie made our childhood a better place.
Winnie was born in 1934, the 4th of 6 children to Julius Madron and Mary Lou Allbritton Buxton. For perspective, I am the third generation “Lou”.
My Mom, Janie Lou, is 6 years younger than Winnie and I guess was a pesky little sister. I don’t know if you all know, but Win and Verle were married in secret. In 1954 Winnie was working at United Gas and they didn't allow their female employees to be married. They managed to keep this under wraps until Mom coincidentally picked up the extension when Win and Verle were on the phone. Later, Mom corrected Winnie on a small detail which had been disclosed in the private phone call and Winnie chased her down to find out what she knew. I am told Mom was very respectful of their secret and earned a special place in their hearts for not telling their tale.
Over the last year we have been combing through old family photos and I particularly love the one, you may have noticed it in the frame, with Win and Verle, Aunt Connie and Uncle R.C., Uncle Beamie and Aunt Phyllis. It is an old black and white photo and they are standing in front of a 1950’s model Chevrolet; Win and Aunt Phyllis are expecting what turn out to be Vicki and Jay Boy. Take a look at the picture. They are so happy, so in love with life and love for each other. It is a fabulous snapshot in time of the person Winnie was; a loving wife, soon to be Mother, happy friend, and sister.
Winnie found humor in everyday events. Let’s fast forward about 10 years and my next big memory is of Bub. Winnie got such a kick out of teasing Mike. We still laugh when we think of Winnie hiding behind the trees in the front yard, in her night gown, in the morning when the bus was coming, telling Mike she was going to pop out when the bus picked him up. Mike was horrified his friends would see her. I’ll let Mike give you the details, but it is classic Winnie.
When we moved to Lufkin and the Spell’s would come to visit I used to hide in the old maroon station wagon, hoping they wouldn't notice the stow-away; just wanting to go home to Orange with Win and Verle. And Jeanie, my best friend for my whole life. You know what a great person Winnie was if she could raise four such wonderful human beings as Vicki, Jeanie, Mike, and Dee. Their loving care supported Verle through the last two very trying years as well as constantly providing the loving, safe home Winnie needed to spend her last years on earth in peace.
In 1975, Win got tickets for us to see Elvis in Lake Charles. I don’t remember much of the concert – just a little speck of white far away on the stage, but the event stays with me. Just to see Elvis; when they do polls on Facebook about all the people you have seen in concert, you just can’t top Elvis. Winnie wrote him a letter after the concert telling them that even though he had put on a little weight, she thought he looked great and how much we enjoyed his concert. Kristy is still scandalized to remember the Tom Jones concert she attended with Aunt Winnie, Aunt Beth and Mom. I believe they were impressed with his “moves”. Kris was an impressionable teenager and didn't know grown up women, much less her Mom and aunts could have such a good time at a concert.
Speaking of Kristy, the next Kristy story is one of my personal favorites. Kristy is my younger sister and Win and Verle very generously opened their home to her when she was a senior so she could finish out High School at LCM. That is when Ken and Winnie gave Kris her nickname, Krispy Kritter, because she spent so much of her last semester at the beach, sunburned, or ‘crispy’. Now Kristy, like a lot of people, is particular in what she eats. Kristy was not keen on eating a chicken that Winnie had obtained from the yard and had just had its head cut off, plucked and cooked for dinner. Winnie very cleverly kept a plastic wrap from Market Basket in the freezer that had once contained a chicken. Whenever Kris asked her where the chicken had come from, Win would produce the wrapper and tell Kris it had come from the store.
All-time favorite – we all know how hard it is to get teen agers up and moving in the morning. If you don’t know, you will one day - Mary and Michelle! Anyway, Winnie had this very endearing way of strolling through the house singing to us, “Everyone up, It’s hoppy, hoppy time!” I still tell Janie and Call this to get them out of bed. It doesn’t work any better for me than it did for Winnie, but I smile when I think of her every time.
The tree farm is an embedded part of my life, my children’s lives and, I am sure, yours also. The tree farm is where I introduced Mike to my family, picking out a Christmas tree right after we met. The family parties, the pavilion with the fabulous fire place, rows of tables where we shared family meals, Jay Boy falling off the bridge on his bike, canoe rides through the front yard after a flood with Aunt Connie and Aunt Winnie, birthday parties for our growing children. We celebrated my 50th birthday there at a January gathering that was a shared event with Uncle Gayle’s 80th, my brother Bill’s and Jeanie’s. Every year, between Thanksgiving and Christmas I could catch up with my cousins – Tim in the fields, Annette in the Cut Hut. In the early days, Aunt Connie ran the chalet with hand-made baubles to sell. Bub and Ken shaking and bagging trees. Michelle and Hunter, working the fields. Rides on the tractor, the four-wheelers; Bub would let the kids drive and they were so excited! I could see old school friends, or at least hear about them and find out if they had any hair left. Aunt Winnie’s smiling face was the draw, bringing joy to Christmas. Winnie did not judge. She treated all with love, making each person feel welcome. Win and Verle’s generosity knew no bounds. When you think about Christian virtues of time, gifts, and talents – Win and Verle exemplified each in the way they lived their lives every day and gave back to the community and family.
The list of memories is endless - playing scrabble with Aunt Connie and Aunt Winnie, Aunt Beth and Mom; Aunt Connie always won. Remember the Scrabble flower arrangement Winnie sent to Aunt Connie at her funeral? Winnie and Mom visiting me in Hawaii and scaring me to death on the north shore standing on the rocks as the waves crashed in. Her delicious chiperoo bars, her knowledge of our ancestors, lost with her passing. Celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary with my young family, celebrating their 60th with her ill at home and unable to participate fully.
On Friday as I was coming home from work I had this overwhelming sensation of Granny and PawPaw looking down at Winnie, waiting, welcoming. And while I think I speak for all of us that we are here today sharing our loss and grief, I can’t help but think of Granny and PawPaw, welcoming her to heaven. She is there with the people we would all love to see: Aunt Connie and Uncle Beamie, Uncle Vernon and Mammy, Mama Lucy and Sis and Gervis. Jay Boy and Thomas, Tim and Harley. What an awesome celebration that must be! It is a welcome that we all will have one day when it is our turn. And while I will miss Winnie every day, I am so happy for her. And I am happy for us that we all were blessed to be a part of her life while we had her.
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